Christ the Lord has raised marriage, between the baptized, to the dignity of a Sacrament. In the Sacraments, simple things are used to make us holy. Consider the manner in which He has given you grace through the other Sacraments:
In Baptism, Christ used water to plunge you into his death, that you might be reborn as a child of God.
In Confirmation, Christ used oil mixed with aromatic spices to fill you with the Gifts of the Holy Spirit.
In the Eucharist, Christ takes simple bread and wine, and through the power of his word, makes them into his Body and Blood, that you might receive the most profound spiritual nourishment.
But in Marriage, Christ will sanctify you, not by means of some of the common things of everyday life—water, olive oil, bread—but rather, in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony, Christ will sanctify you by means of day-to-day life itself!
God has given you in this Sacrament a means of growing in holiness that is not limited to the time you spend within the four walls of this church. But this growth in holiness is, to be sure, neither easy nor simple; and the happiness which the Church professes to be a part of marriage is a prize to be won, not a gift received at the altar-rail. It will require constant attention to the needs of your spouse, and one day, God willing, to those of your children.
This highlights the difference between how the world sees Marriage and how the Church sees marriage. Our society, I think, misunderstands the … genre of Marriage. For the world, Marriage is a fairy tale, the story of living “happily ever after.” But for the Christian, Marriage is the story of a martyrdom. This wedding is the beginning of your life together, a life you now live not for yourself, but for your spouse, and for your children. Each day will give you ample opportunities to choose those things which please your spouse, rather than your own selfish desires. And thus, Christ has given you a thousand little ways to mortify your members which are upon the earth, so that when Christ who is your life shall appear, you may also appear with him in glory.
I said that the world misunderstands Matrimony when it images Marriage as living “happily ever after”. But perhaps I ought rather to have said this: The Church recognizes only one truly happy ending. Your married life is meant to prepare you for Heaven; and to create a home in which children can discover the faith from within a loving family; and, through your example of loving and mutual self-sacrifice, to provide a witness and an encouragement to the family and friends who have gathered around you today. In all these things, take as your constant example the perfect marriage, that between Christ and his Church, marked on his side by unfailing self-giving love, and on the side of the Church by repentant faithfulness.
In the Nuptial Blessing given at this Mass we will pray that you may “see your children's children to the third and fourth generation, and enjoy the long life that will fulfill your desires.” I know that this is not simply my prayer for you, but the prayer of each and every person here present. You are greatly loved. May the fondness and affection we all have for you be a source of strength in times of difficulty, that, upheld by God's grace through the many tribulations of this present life, you may come one day to the everlasting joys of Heaven.
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